This moment, is Inevitable!

..........P.A.U.S.E..........

                                                                                                 Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash
"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times,

                  if one only remembers to turn on the lights"
                                                         ~Albus Dumbledore

Pause, as we all or at least most of us know, is defined as a temporary stop in action or speech. When was the last time you paused? Paused before doing something or saying something. We seldom pay attention to what we are doing or saying. We should be grateful that 99% of phenomena that our lives depend on for survival happen on their own without any conscious maneuver from our side. I joke about it with my daughter when she is busy chatting and forgets to eat. I say, "Thankfully your breathing is involuntary, or else you would forget to breathe too in your need to talk all the time." The point is, we don't even pause to attend to that breath. Pause is so important; think of music without a pause, think of speech without a pause. Well, it would be in-comprehendible and a total cacophony of syllables. How many of us have noticed that tiny mini pause between the inhale and exhale of our breath? Well, more on that another day. The pause gives the real meaning (the soul) to almost every experience and gives us the opportunity to enjoy, understand, comprehend, and grow (evolve) through those experiences. I truly think that this Pandemic has given us this huge opportunity to PAUSE! It is a blessing in disguise of sorts, a very horrific disguise though. 

Covid-19, commonly known as the Coronavirus, has put the world into turmoil. Close to 3 million people have been affected by the virus and over 200,000 people have died because of it, across the globe to this day and time. There is no clue as to how far it will go. Much many healthcare and essential services workers are on the frontline fighting selflessly, day in day out to keep all of us safe and comfortable. My heart breaks to hear the stories of those who have lost their loved ones in a matter of days, for those who are stranded in distant lands alone and don't have a clue when they will be home, for those who have lost their jobs and are exhausting their savings, for those who don't have or cannot afford groceries to feed their kids, for those who want to be home because their family is, but have to be out there at work. The times are so strange that in some parts of the world the doctors have to choose who lives and who doesn't because of the lack of resources. I cannot even fathom what that must feel like, but even the thought of it sends shivers down my spine. I sincerely wish no human ever again has to go through this. And now when I look at us, the fairly comfortable lot in terms of basic needs, all that is asked of us is to be with our own selves and/or with the family at home. Even that seems like a tall ask to those who don't seem to like their own company or is it their mind tricking them to believe that this will never end?  Let me share how I look at this as a much-needed Pause.

We have been busy distracting ourselves with office work, kids' school, long daily commutes, kids' activities and extra classes, Social meets and parties, TVs, Phones, Social Media, and whatnot. These are day to day activities that are an integral part of our lives, then why do I call them distractions? For me, distractions are all those things that are done without seeing the bigger picture. When one takes a 2-hour long drive to work, they do it so drudgingly. It is 2 hours of their life. When one just sees that particular day, it seems like just 2 hours of waste that needs to be endured, but when one paints a bigger picture, it is a pretty BIG chunk of their life that will never be returned. Now imagine those 2-hours torn up and sprinkled throughout your day into, what the time scientists call, the time confetti. Like 5 mins in a line at the coffee shop or 10 mins before the next meeting starts or 2 mins (eventually 30 mins) that we take every now and then to check our Twitter notifications. These tiny distractions also amount to the same 2 hours or more of your life. Once that realization dawns, we know that we actually have more time at hand than we claim. Now that you and I know we have more time freed up in the lockdown, let's see what we can do (or not do) with it. 

Yes, at this point, some would say that they don't have a choice, whereas in reality that is all we have. We have a choice to be Happy right in this moment. We have this inbuilt intelligence to know what is in our control and what is not. Once we know that, it becomes very easy to accept any situation that is out of our control or make a contribution to change whatever we think is in our control.  Now that we are in this lockdown, and our attention is not divided into numerous usual distractions, it is the perfect time to mull over the lessons learned and think about what we could do to emerge a better human out of this. It is a long post, but you have time to read through the whole, or at least the headlines ;)

1.  Be Grateful for what you have:
Death is indeed the true equalizer. As we see, it does not discriminate against national boundaries, religion, color, race, financial status, intellectual status, political status, or absolutely any other good story that we've been telling ourselves. These powerful, but fake stories are clearly seen collapsing. If we pause here, the truth is pretty clear. How can we then take anything that's important to our happiness for granted? Truth be told, all I have is this day, now; and if I am sincere enough, I will pursue everything that's important to me with tomorrow-less passion. 

We always complain about how our busy schedule does not allow us to spend time with our family as much as we would like. Well, now is the time to do just that. Spend quality time with our family, doing things that we have always wanted to do. This is that time to cook, play, watch movies together, read books aloud, listen to your kids' stories and fantasies, teach them some life skills, workout or meditate together, learn something from each other, declutter and organize or reorganize your house, plant a garden and so much more. Family is a part of us that we always take for granted as if they will always be there for us, no matter what. This pandemic has shown us the fragility of our life right in our faces.  To be alive and to find your loved ones alive tomorrow morning, is all you need to be happy, to smile and spread love. 

In spite of having a loving time with our families, we miss our office space, miss saying hello to our colleagues, having those team lunches together. Some of us now miss going to grocery stores or farmers market to pick our fresh fruits and vegetables, going out for a lovely meal at the restaurant, having our favorite coffee made by a smiling barista, we miss our hairdresser, some of us surely miss our cleaners, and helpers...so much more. How much of these simple small pleasures did we value when we had them? Maybe this is the right pause to learn how important it is to be mindful of these privileges when we have them. Thinking ahead, there will surely be one last time that we will get to enjoy them. If we let that sink in, next time we are enjoying these, we won't distract ourselves and relish every detail of that experience as if it was our last.

2. Build your Immunity: 
Currently, from what we know, there is no cure for Covid-19 yet. So all we can count on is our immunity. For those of us who have never paid attention to what we eat and what we do with our bodies, this is the time to pause and revisit this. Our body is mostly made of what we eat. It is like our cars. We pay such minute attention to how much mileage our car gives corresponding to the different brands of fuel we use, regulate our car maintenance intervals to improve its performance. But, when it comes to our body we are so mindless. We just about eat anything that our mind tricks us into eating, telling us stories that we will feel good eating that junk. What we actually feel after eating it, is precisely the opposite. If we are mindful of how we feel and how it ruins our health, we will surely avoid it next time. This lockdown will make us notice how cooking and eating fresh meals daily makes us feel. It doesn't have to be gourmet meals, just simple basic food cooked with your own hands with love is way more rewarding than a full course meal at a restaurant or a junk meal at a fast-food cafe. So get up and put a simple meal together.
And just like driving our car well contributes to its longevity, our bodies need some exercise as well, to work better and maybe even last longer. It is time to pause and know that it is our body that we are trying hard to protect from this deadly virus. Knowing that, isn't it clear that we must make time for exercise, giving this body what it needs to become robust. Choose any form of exercise you enjoy; be it walking, running, yoga, gym, Zumba, dancing, swimming, biking, hiking, whatever. I would also strongly recommend learning and doing Pranayam (yogic breathing exercises) as it is known to increase our lung capacity. We might not be able to do everything above in the lockdown, but at least we can stay aware of how important it is to incorporate a home-based exercise regime in order to build that immunity. Over time, the results that we achieve will make it more worthy than all those excuses that our minds had ready for us just to avoid exercise.

3. Learn a new skill: 
If you find yourself wondering what you could do with so much free time on hand,  I would ask you to pause and think 'what is it that I've always wanted to learn?' Now it cannot be swimming for obvious reasons, but anything that you can learn from home on the internet. A wise person once said, 'best teachers are found on the internet.' If you figure out what you want to learn, you can surely find someone to teach you online. It could be learning a new language, a musical instrument, art and craft, a specific skill to enhance your passion like photography, calligraphy, cooking, baking (if you find yeast that is). You could take classes to learn to write, learn new forms of exercise, a dance form, learn to code, learn gardening and I could go on and on. It is all out there just waiting to be found. But let me tell you a secret here, the best thing you can learn at this given time is to learn to do No-thing. I will talk about it at the end of the blog.

4. Unlock the creative You: 
If you have that creative side hidden somewhere inside you, this is the time to unleash it. Your imagination can change the world. If not, it can surely change your anxiety status :) When my kids come to me announcing they are bored and they want to do 'something', I tell them that it is good to be bored once in a while so that you will figure out what that 'something' is and they always come up with a creative idea. The idea need not be something to do with art or craft or cooking or writing, it could be anything that you can create and call your own. It is something you have never seen or heard of before. Creative ideas can spring from anywhere and are almost difficult to control once they spring. For Example, you might come up with a creative idea of how to make that 2-hour commute work better for your life and maybe for others as well :) It could be your own online classroom, teaching others what you are good at. 

5. Use Technology to have quality social time: 
When I see my husband working from home; see my kids doing schoolwork from home; when I notice how all of us enjoy chatting with our far-away families & friends; how kids are taking their music & dance classes online; how we cook looking at videos online; see how we order our groceries on the internet and get them delivered; how pizzas get delivered by self-driving cars and how we get the latest pandemic news and statistics right on our palmtops; it seems like most of the technologies that we have innovated all these years were made for this day to allow us to stay at home and still be comfortable. Imagine this pandemic in the times of no phone and the digital world!! scary right? 

But technology has also taken away our real social interaction. Meeting a person got replaced by the phone call and that, by email and that, by WhatsApp messages and eventually, we would be left with some emojis. Now that we are made to avoid any in-person human interaction in this lockdown, we feel the urge for that social interaction even more. This is the time to pause to realize its value and instead of sulking, use the technology for meaningful social get-togethers, ofcourse virtual. We could video chat together, play together, cook together and together we could come up with multiple things that we could do together. For example, Netflix Party is a chrome extension that allows one to watch the same movie/show together with friends and family, chatting online as you watch and all this sitting in one's own home. Let's make use of technology to bring us joy and not anxiety by tearing the big chunks of our time into time confetti.

6. Be the worm you were always longing to be: 
All the backlog of books and blogs is suddenly staring at my face now. There is no more excuse of 'no time' now, as they can see me all the time, wasting away my time on WhatsApp puzzles (that only make you anxious about your low IQ, bad eyesight and losing hearing capacity); or watching someone else make money on Youtube and TikTok :) Jokes apart, this is 'the good time' that we all were waiting for. Let's read for ourselves, let's read to our kids, and let's read online to our extended family and their kids. There is literally so much to read and just one life. 

Having said that, I have a small piece of advice that has always worked for me. Instead of continuously reading non-fiction, informative, and self-help or motivating books, try to read awesome fiction. Read fairy tales to kids, let them feel the magic, and wonder about unknown realms to explore. I read in a book that Albert Einstein was once asked how we could make our children intelligent. 'If you want your children to be intelligent ', he said, ' read them Fairytales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairytales.' So read, read to your heart's delight. 

When you need a break from reading, you can write. You don't need to be a writer or write for someone else to read, but you can surely write for yourself. Write a daily journal. This will allow you some time to contemplate and pen down about what or who you are grateful for today, what is on your mind, what new ideas are popping in your mind, new things that you learned today, what are your plans after this lockdown, positive and negative emotions as well. Basically anything and everything that springs in your heart and flows through your pen.

7. Be the Doer, Be the Giver: 
All of the above are things that you can do for yourself and it may or may not make you feel better. But, there is one thing that I am almost certain will make you feel better and that is to HELP someone else. It will not just make you feel better, but it will also make you stronger. Most of you reading this, are at home now and that means there are lots of things you are not spending on. If you think a little deeper there are that many people not getting paid. Like for example, you cannot get a haircut, so the hairdresser is not getting paid; you are not going to the restaurant, so the waitress is not getting paid, you are not going to the cafe, so the smaller cafe baristas are not getting paid, so on and so forth. Remember you are also saving money by staying at home. Now, you can estimate the total savings that you might've made and use at least some of that money to help those who need it in these times. 

There are lots of genuine and direct donation portals opened up online if you can't personally find someone to help. If you need to save all of it, well, then you surely have time that you can use to help an elderly neighbor with groceries or make someone feel good about life, remember the movie 'Life is Beautiful '? One of my aunts makes these awesome cooking videos of traditional recipes right in her kitchen in her own mother tongue and shares it with us. It brings so much joy to us just seeing her and of course, her recipes and tips will be treasured. It has been scientifically proven that the money and time spent on others brings one much more happiness and satisfaction than that spent on one's own self. So dig a little deeper and find that joy for yourself.

8. Let others Breathe too: 
We live on this planet with millions and trillions of other species; microbes, insects, birds, animals, coral reefs, aquatic life, trees, oceans, mountains, and everything else here that is part of this cosmos just like us. Covid-19 has proven that we know so little. What do we even do with the things we know? We know that there is global warming, that there is so much air pollution, that the human population is reducing the population of other species, that we need to share the resources with everyone on this planet as they are finite and there is no extra storage elsewhere. We know all this and hardly do a thing. This lockdown time is a pause to dwell a little longer on this. Look out of the window. The whole earth is thriving by locking us down; the air is cleaner, the skies are bluer and in some parts of the world, the rare animals are showing themselves in the open field, reclaiming their land. 

Are we finally going to change our ways after this lockdown? Will we heed as to what kind of world we will leave for the next generation. It is not too late to make that lifestyle change. There are tonnes of things that one can find to follow if only there is a sincere inclination. If we have kids at home, this is our time to get them involved. You will be surprised to see their compassion quotient, but we need to notice it, lead them to all the online resources and then encourage them to develop it in the right direction. Because our planet's biggest danger is apathy.

9. Practice doing Nothing: 
Finally, this is where I will tell you to do nothing. When everything outside seems to be out of our control and we feel helpless about it, we can try to find what is it that we can do. There is so much distress in the world that stressing about it will not take us anywhere, instead, it will only add to the cumulative stress of the community. One thing for sure is in our control and that is our own self. How can we control ourselves so that our experience of this lockdown becomes pleasant? All that is needed is a quiet place to be with yourself and notice what is happening within your body and mind. Notice how your body sensations change with different thoughts and emotions. Notice how you feel within when you are angry, sad, happy, excited. Just get into this habit of noticing your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment. Your body is a better reader of what will happen next. You will know well ahead of time that you are going to get angry soon. Once you know the signs, you can control yourself (maybe by using 3-4-5 technique of breathing) and avoid the actual unpleasant angry moment. This is not easy and takes time, but unless we start we won't get anywhere. There are tonnes of meditation apps and guided meditations for beginners on youtube. If there is nothing to your liking, you can just sit with the spine erect, eyes closed, and with your natural flow of breath and keep noticing everything within until you can feel No-thing. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it is rewarding. Try to do this at the same time and in the same place, preferably on an empty stomach. 

Remember, we are Human Beings? We ought to know how to Be. We are all in this together and we will get through this together. We are Braver than we believe, Stronger than we seem, and more intelligent than we think. So let us stay strong and positive to get through this because that is a good choice to make. If you need resources to follow any of the above and don't know where to look on the internet, then I am always here to help with what worked for me, if you are truly interested. Till then Stay Home, Stay Safe, and Stay blissfully Healthy!